100 Facts

 My name is Mary, for those of you that didn’t know

I’m 18 years old

I live outside of Boston, Massachusetts

I’m incredibly afraid of spiders

I’m also afraid of bridges

And tunnels

And deep water

And heights

And dying

When I was little I had 5 goldfish and I named them all Bob

The last fish died in a bubble

I enjoy watching Jeopardy every night

I don’t have one favourite band or one favourite song

I’ve only had one sex dream I’ve had quite a few since I wrote this.

It was about the boy I’m currently head over heels for

I always put other people before myself

The only time I’m happy is when I’m with a certain person

I’m a virgin

I’ve never kissed anyone… still.

And I hate it. Both of those.

I like to pretend that I have confidence and that I don’t care what other people think

The reality is I do care, and I’m incredibly self conscious 

I absolutely hate lying, and I refuse to do it unless it’s necessary

I get very defensive if I feel like I’m being cornered

I’m very, very protective of my friends

I hate being lied to. I’m not very forgiving when it comes to lying.

I watch sad movies and tv episodes to make myself cry

It has been 3 years, three months, two weeks and one day since the last time I self harmed

It’s been around the same amount of time since the last time I tried to kill myself

My arms hurt when people talk about cutting

I’m terrible with goodbyes

I’m worried I won’t make friends in college and I’ll rely on the ones I’m leaving behind too much

I have no piercings, not even my ears

I don’t sleep enough

I don’t eat enough

I can’t eat in front of the guy I like. He makes me nervous and I get butterflies

I have a lot of strange insecurities involving him

Out of everyone I know, I feel the most comfortable around him, and the most insecure around him at the same time

I’m constantly trying extremely hard to change all of that. Mostly for him.

I absolutely hate being single

I realized yesterday that I don’t believe in god. I wish I did. But I don’t.

I don’t believe in god, but I believe in angels, demons, spirits and Lucifer.

I’m constantly tired, I have a lot of trouble sleeping

If I miss him or I can’t sleep I like to cuddle with my Christmas Giraffe

I miss watching a new episode of LOST every week

I’m sort of replacing it with Supernatural, even though there never will be another LOST

My favourite colours are bright blue and bright green

I get cold and hot very easily

I want three tattoos. None of which I will put on here until I get them

I’m regretting doing this now but I shall finish

I’m a little bit of a skank, I like to show off my tits. I don’t wear regular tshirts. Everything is low cut.

I don’t want to live three hours away from everyone next year

I’m only 5’1.5”

I can not drive without music

I can hold my fingers together, and I can keep them far apart but when they’re in between they bounce off of each other

I work about 35 hours a week on top of 35 hours of school every week

This is the most stressful year of my life so far, and it’s horrible

I’ve completely given up on a lot of things and it’s really bad.

I wish I didn’t have to go to college next year. I wish I could just run away from everything

If I could drop out of high school right now, I would. But it’s my last year ad that would just be stupid.

For so long I wanted to fall asleep and wake up next to someone special every day, and when I finally had the chance I stayed awake all fucking night.

I hate waiting for a text, even if I know the person is doing something and can’t have their phone

I refuse to talk down to people for any reason at all

I will not judge someone, no matter what. Everyone deserves a chance

I hate when people tell me “Oh they did this so you should stay away from them.” Let me figure it out on my own.

I wouldn’t have a best friend right now if I had listened to the one above me

I hate when people make judgements based on people’s past. Just because they slept around or treated people badly or anything like that three or four years ago doesn’t mean they do it now

I can be mad at him all I want. And then we talk and I immediately forgive him

I’m currently eying my can of honey roasted peanuts on the table next to me, but I don’t want to get the crystals on my key board

It’s been almost a year and I still get butterflies and a stupid smile on my face when he texts me

There isn’t one person who knows everything on this list without reading it

I’m starting to run out of things to write

I can’t draw for shit

I’m not creative at all

I am one of the most unhealthy people on the planet, but I’m not overweight.

I’m tired of being the “good girl” but I don’t want to go crazy, either.

I hate when people call me young, tell me I look young, or treat me like I’m a child. I am an adult. I have never acted immature. Please treat me with respect

I have a weakness for good cheese pizza and french fries. Not together… most of the time.

I hate that people are celebrating the death of Bin Laden. It’s amazing that he was captured but it’s still a human life. Eye for an eye is no way to go about punishment.

I hate violence, but I can be a very angry person

Before this year, I hadn’t had a panic attack in three years

A compliment from the right person will keep me going for days (:

But I don’t want to tell them that because I don’t want them to think they have to constantly compliment me to keep me happy. Talking is enough.

I am very, very, very tired right now.

I fell asleep during two different episodes of Supernatural today

I found my graduation dress today. It’s white and it’s very cute (:

Despite how tired and stressed I am right now, I’m actually sort of in a decent mood.

I’m watching House and I haven’t been paying attention and now I am so very confused

Dean Winchester + Jo Harvelle is my only ship for Supernatural

My mother just changed to the Bruins & the Flyers game and I really don’t give a shit about any of this

I can’t wait for this to be over so I can eat my peanuts

I’m currently doubting how many of you will actually read this

I broke my toe in my sleep when I was a freshman in high school and now the entire foot is fucked up and I should probably go to the doctor but I’m too worried that it’s something serious

I’m clingy and needy, I just hide it so people don’t get annoyed with me

Grilled cheese are the only kinds of sandwiches I will eat. Peanut butter if I absolutely have to.

I love eating just a spoonful of hot fudge

When I’m home alone, I like to sing so loudly that I lose my voice a little bit

I can’t wait for prom. No matter how nervous I’m going to be, it will be amazing.

I want to live in England one day. I’ve already made plans. I’m moving in four years.

I really regret doing this. It took me like two hours.